Du bist mein Engel - Part 2

The most dreadful of moments always seem to get stretched out in memory. Things happened so fast; the seemingly random shot, ambulances rushing to the scene. He remembered the police trying to keep the crowds back, remembered his frantic drive to the hospital.

Olli  was the first to arrive out of his band-mates. "I'm searching for a Paul Landers," he said frantically to a passing doctor. "I need to see him! Could you please tell me where he is?"

"Sir, he's in the emergency room. He's in a very critical condition at the moment. He's lost a significant amount of blood…"

"Then I'm here to give blood to him."

"That won't be necessary."

Olli's eyes widened. "Oh god, he hasn't died, has he?"

The doctor paused for a moment. "He's getting all the help he can get. He's not responding, but we're going to keep trying…" With that the doctor left.

Olli rushed after him. "Doctor, you don't understand. I need to see him! Please…"

The doctor shook his head impatiently. "Did you not hear what I just told you? He's in the emergency room. He's in a critical condition. There's no way anyone can see him right now!"

"Then I want to see him when he comes out…"

The doctor looked hesitant. After a moment he said, "You can be his first visitor if he pulls through."

Olli almost hugged him on the spot. "Thank you! Thank you so much…!"

~

"Olli! Olli are you ok; what happened?!" Till almost yelled, running up to him.

"I'm fine. It's Paul I'm worried about…"

"What happened?" Richard asked, his blue eyes round with worry.

"He was shot at…" Olli trailed off.

"Shot?!" The four males stared at him.

Olli nodded. "That's what the police and ambulance staff told me… I don't even understand it. Why would someone want to shoot Paul?!" Olli was close to tears. Seeing this, Flake came up and gave him a hug.

"How? When? Where? Why?" Schneider asked, shocked. None of them had been prepared for this. Olli hadn't told them anything when he had called them up, only that this was a complete and utter emergency and that they needed to get over to the hospital immediately.

"I don't know…  All I know is he left and then half an hour later, I get a call from the police, saying he's been shot… The doctors told me he's been shot in the stomach. They think the shooter missed his heart. How that's possible, I'm not sure, but boy am I glad that he had a lousy aim. Paul's lost a lot of blood… I offered to donate some to him, but they said he wouldn't need it…" Olli collapsed down onto the plastic waiting seat.

Suddenly he caught sight of the doctor, and leapt up off it as if the seat were on fire. "Doctor, is he alright?"

"His pulse is still very weak. He responded to our methods and he's now in a coma. He's still very critical though and his condition might worsen…"

"Could I please see him?" Olli asked.

The doctor shook his head. "I don't think that's a wise idea…"

"Please? We wouldn't go inside, but we need to just see him," Olli pleaded.

The doctor hesitated, obviously debating whether to let them see their friend or not. But then he saw the worried and pleading faces of the rest of the band and reluctantly nodded. "Ok." He took them through to the room where Paul was being kept.

Seeing Paul lying there on the hospital bed, his eyes closed, bandages all over his stomach, Olli fought the urge to barge in. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turning his head saw Richard. He fought the urge to burst into tears right there and then.

As the doctor ushered them back down the corridor to the waiting room, Olli looked at Richard, Flake, Till and Christophe. "I'm staying here tonight. Or at least until he's stable," he announced determinedly.

"Olli it won't do, torturing yourself like this. Come home, have a rest, then we'll all drive out here first thing tomorrow morning… It's what Paul would've wanted…" Flake said.

"Don't say that! He's not dead!" Olli burst out as Flake received a swat on the head from Richard for his poor choice of words. "He'll pull through! And I'm not going anywhere. If it weren't for me, he'd still be ok…"

"But you didn't do anything," Till put in gently.

"Exactly. We had a kind-of argument this morning, because of something I said. He walked out. I didn't try stop him even though I should have… I need to stay with him!" Olli replied.

"Olli, it wasn't your fault. No one could have seen this coming," Schneider told him.

But the bassist was past reasoning with. He shook his head. "If only I had stopped him… No, I'm staying here." He planted himself down on the hospital seat. From his position he looked pleadingly at the four standing males. "Please, for my sake, go. I'm going to stay, no matter what. Don't make this harder. I'll be fine, I promise." Olli felt like a teenager, trying to reason with his parents about his curfew.

Flake, Till, Olli and Christophe exchanged glances. Finally, Christophe nodded resignedly. "Ok. We'll come tonight after dinner. You know, to check up on the pair of you…"

Olli nodded. "Thanks…"

Christophe and Flake gave him a hug. "Hope he gets better soon," Flake mumbled.

Till and Richard proceeded to give Olli reassuring words and pats on the back, before they left. As much as Olli liked hugs, this time they didn't help much. Now he was alone, with no one to turn to, and no one paying the least bit of attention to him and his worries…

~

"Mr Riedel?"

Olli quickly snapped out of his thoughts and looked up. "Is he ok? Is Paul alright?"

"He's finally stable. He's weak though. He might be in the coma for some time…"

"Could I please see him?"

The doctor nodded. "I told you that you could be his first visitor, and I'm not a man to go back on my word." He took Olli to Paul's room. "He's in a coma, so he can't see or hear you. At this point I don't think it wise for you to stay in there for a long time, so I'll come get you later…"

Olli nodded. "Thank you Doctor." He entered the room. For a moment he lingered in the doorway, then with several large strides, was by Paul's bed. He dragged a chair over so he could be as close to his friend as possible, then sank down in it. He stared at Paul's face, wondering if he'd ever see his greeny-hazel eyes open again.

He hadn't noticed it before, but his own hands were shaking, somewhat violently. He took one of Paul's hands as gently as he could so as not to cause him any more unnecessary pain and enveloped it with his two hands.

"I'm so sorry, Paulie," he whispered. "I shouldn't of insisted when you didn't want to tell me. I should've stopped you going. I didn't mean for you to get hurt… You didn't deserve this…" He was silent for a moment. "Paul, the doctor told me that you can't hear, but I know you can. Please get better. You have to make it through, you just have to! Please…" he broke off.

Olli swallowed. He knew that the thing he wanted to say next, he should have said earlier. But he also knew that if he didn't say it now, even though Paul wouldn't be able to hear him, he probably wouldn't be able to say it ever again. He needed to get the words out, even if no one heard. Olli looked down at his two hands, holding Paul's unconscious one. "Paul…I…I…I love you…"

He sat back, still holding Paul's hand. Why didn't I tell him earlier? When I had a chance? he thought. When maybe, I would have gotten a reply, even if it wasn't positive... I should have told him earlier…

He knew this wasn't the best time. He had wanted a reply from Paul so much when he finally told him; but of course, having told him now, Paul could not reply – he was in a coma.

Olli gently squeezed Paul's hand. He decided there and then that he would not leave the hospital until Paul woke up. Even if they didn't let him sit with Paul all day and night, he would not leave until Paul had regained consciousness. Right at this exact moment, he had no specific reason why, all he knew is he had to…

~

"How's he doing?" Flake asked, tapping Olli on the shoulder to get his attention, as he came up to him.

Olli's head snapped in the direction of Flake's voice. "Doctor said he's stable. He's in a coma at the moment," Olli told him, looking up at him from his seated position.

"Have you been to see him yet?" Christophe asked, coming up next to Flake.

He wondered whether to tell them or not. He trusted them, and the rest of the band, for they were his best friends, but  he knew that they'd want details, and this was in a way quite private.

He shrugged. "Not properly…"

"How are you holding up?" Richard asked as he and Till came up behind Flake and Schneider.

Olli shrugged again. "I've been better. Hey, you guys should go see him. The doctor said it's fine…"  

One by one, Flake, Richard, Till, and Christophe went in. As the last male left Paul's room, they gathered around Olli, who was still seated on the plastic hospital chair.

"You're not going in?" Till asked.

Olli shook his head. "I'm going to go a bit later… I might grab something to eat first before I go in…"

"But we're about to leave now…" Realisation dawned on Flake. "You're going to stay the night here…?!"

Olli nodded. "He needs me…" he said quietly.

"Olli, it's not going to help anyone, you know."

"I don't care, he needs me," Olli replied quietly, not looking at the others.

There was semi-stunned silence. They knew that Olli was upset –hell, they all were– but they didn't think that this would happen…

"Olli, what's going on?" Till asked gently.

"I owe it to him. And I don't care what you guys say, but I'm staying with him until he wakes up!" Olli declared stubbornly.

"But..."

"I said I'm staying!"

The band members decided to leave him. They knew better than to argue with him. It didn't mean that they whole-heartedly agreed with him though.

"By the way, we brought you some food," Schneider told him, handing him a container. "But are you really sure you want to stay here tonight?" he asked quietly.

Olli nodded. "Please…" Silently the band members turned to go and set off down the hall to the exit. "Oh, and Schneider?" Olli called out. "Thanks for the food…"

Schneider gave him a smile then went after Till, Richard, and Flake. What's going on with you Olli, he thought. What's going on?

Olli sat silently on the seat as he opened Christophe's package. Schneider had packed him two pieces of pie and a slice of chocolate cake. This wasn't altogether good news. The more Schneider cooked – and in particular, baked– the more worried or upset he was.

And sitting there, silently eating, Olli suddenly realised why he had wanted to stay by Paul's side. He had once read an article about coma patients. The article stated that while the patients were unconscious, they dreamed. And not just any dreams, but nightmares. That's why he wanted to stay, he realised – to protect Paul from the nightmares. He wasn't sure how, exactly, but he knew he wanted to try…

~

Over the next few days, Olli was allowed to spend more and more time by Paul's side. The other four males visited every day and by now, they had given up on trying to get Olli to come home, although Flake still attempted. But his pleas of Olli having a shower fell on deaf ears.

Oh the fourth day, Olli quietly let himself into Paul's room after eating dinner, which Schneider faithfully brought him every evening.

He closed the curtains, only briefly looking at the setting sun, then took up his usual seat next to Paul.

"Paul, when are you going to wake up?" he asked, taking hold of Paul's hand. "We're all so worried about you…"

"Oliver? Olli, is that you?" Paul asked sleepily.

Olli almost dropped Paul's hand with surprise at the sound of his voice. "Yeah. Yeah it's me…" Olli's voice seemed somewhat choked.

"Where am I and how long have I been here?"

"In the hospital. Four days. How are you feeling?"

"Very tired." He brought his free hand up to his bandaged stomach. "And sore," he added with a tired smile.

There was a moment's silence. Olli became very aware that he was still holding Paul's hand. He went to move it, but Paul gave his hand a small squeeze.

"I'm glad you came to see me," he said, watching Olli intently.

Olli looked into his eyes and smiled. "So am I…"

And the doctor, who happened to pass Paul's room and look in at his patient at that exact moment, smiled. He carried on walking, the smile on his face one of a man who had just found out an important secret…

Back in Paul's room, Paul's eyes were slowly closing. He looked at Olli. "Olli, I…"

"Shhh…Tell me tomorrow… But for now, sleep and get better…" Olli interrupted gently.

Paul smiled at him, his eyes closing. Soon his breathing settled down in a relaxed rhythm, proving that he'd fallen asleep.
Olli smiled to himself. He would be here for Paul if anything happened. He would protect him.

And suddenly, looking at the sleeping Paul, Olli felt lonely. He didn't know if he had ever felt as lonely before as he did now. He wanted Richard, Till, Flake and Christophe to be here with him. He didn't know why. All he knew was that he wanted someone to cuddle and for Paul to come home, so things could finally return back to normal…